I was never much of a traveller and I have to confess the first time I even went on a plane I was in my thirties. I know that seems weird given how many people travel abroad these days but I just never had either the time, the inclination, or the money to go on those huge overseas holidays that many of my generation do. In my work I have met many people who have even lived abroad for a few years working and travelling and generally enjoying life.
That’s not to say I just stayed at home and moped about. I always had this ‘thing’ that I wanted to see my own country before I went overseas. I live in Australia which is a huge continent with such a variety of landscapes and climates to be explored. I could go on like a tourist ad describing the beauty of this land down under but I don’t want to bore you. Let me just say Australia is an amazing place.
The sad thing (and I guess this probably happens in all nations) is that many Australians haven’t even seen what this wide brown land has to offer choosing to spend their holidays abroad rather than locally. But I achieved my goal and spent time travelling around my country by car seeing everything up close and personal. That’s why I can speak with some authority about it.
Anyway I found my myself working in Broome for a period which is in the far north-west of Australia and basically far away from anything. My family lived down south virtually on the other side of the country in the state of Tasmania. So in order to see them for Christmas, or special occasions, I would have to fly. For the first time in my life I had to fly which was cool because like I said I had never had the need to so before.
I was always a bit self-conscious about my penis size (or lack thereof) and confess I have a tiny dick reaching a paltry 3″ when erect (on a good day). When it was soft it kind of got swallowed up in my pubic mound and my nuts weren’t that big either. So I was always worried that in pants I had a noticeable lack of a bulge and I had begun to experiment with stuffing my underpants to see if I could simulate the appearance of someone with an average size penis. I wasn’t trying to look like I had a huge cock as that would be too obvious.
I just wanted to blend into the crowd and if someone glanced at my groin I would look like what they’d expect to see. That was my plan anyway and so I began to stuff my pants with a sock. Eventually I found that if I folded a sock a certain way I could put it down the front of my underpants and it looked like I was an average guy. The only problem had been that the socks tended to move around during the course of the day and so I ended up using a large safety-pin to hold the sock in the right place.
It worked a treat to be honest and I wore those socks all the time and no one even noticed. I even found that I was treated a bit different or maybe it just improved my self-confidence so that I was more cheerful and open, and so people responded to me differently. I am not sure but it was a great experiment for me at the time. These days I don’t care as I am proud of my tiny dick. So I don’t stuff anymore.
Also, I wasn’t doing this to try to pick up, like those guys that stuff in a night club to make it look he has a huge cock. I was doing this to just appear like what I thought was normal in my everyday life.
So I’m working in Broome, and as events turn out I’m forced to go back home quickly, and for the first time ever I have to fly in a big plane across Australia to get home as fast as I could. I was looking forward to the flight, because it was a new experience for me, and so I packed and left for the airport and checked in just like any air traveller does.
Once I had checked in and dropped my luggage off, I walked towards the waiting area but like everyone else had to go through the security checks before I would be allowed to enter. I stood before the metal detector and put anything metal I had on me into a tray with my backpack, wallet, keys and so on and then walked through the metal detector.
It went off.
A thick-set woman in a security uniform came up to me and told me to check my pockets etc. and then had me go through the scanner again.
It went off again.
I was beside myself as I had no idea why the scanner was going off as I had no metal I knew off on me. I don’t have any metal screws in my bones or anything like that, so I just didn’t understand why I was getting a reading. Then she waved that hand scanner over me, you know the ones that look a bit like a table tennis paddle, and sure enough it beeped.
Right at my groin.
Then it occurred to me I had stuffed a sock in my underpants like normal and was using a big metal safety-pin to hold it in place. I blushed bright red right there and then which just made me look guilty.
“Sir, there is a metal item in this region. Do you care to explain?” the female security officer asked.
“Um… I-I… it’s kinda embarrassing,” I said, looking around.
She nodded, but looked at me with narrowed eyes and a deep frown. “We can go over to that room where you will need to show me the metal item. Otherwise, I can hold you for the ‘Federal Police’ to question you?”
I had read in the papers how airports across the country had really tightened up on security since the terrorist attacks in the US and Bali, but for the life of me I just didn’t think it would affect me. I’m no terrorist, or even a criminal, I’m just an everyday kind of guy. So not really wanting to bother the Police I decided to cooperate. “Sure, take me to the room and I’ll show you.”
I followed her, and another male officer, into a room where again she scanned me and got a beep at my nuts to show the other officer the reason for the more invasive search. He looked like he was her boss or something. Both of them looked me over like I was some kind of thief, and I admit I felt my body start to tremble a bit.
“Please drop your trousers, sir,” the male officer asked me, so I complied.
Sure enough there was the safety-pin for all to see, but what was worse was you could tell it was holding something inside my underpants. Airport security guards being airport security guards, immediately thought I was smuggling something inside my undies. The male guard remained cool, no cold would be a better description. “That pin is holding a package in place. What’s in the package?”
He looked up at me which made my heart suddenly race and thump in my chest. He wasn’t playing games, he was very serious.
Well I went bright red with embarrassment which must have made me look even more guilty. “It’s nothing… it’s just a sock,” I replied.
“Sir, I am going to have to order you by the authority of the Airport Security Act of 2009, that you remove your underpants immediately as I believe you are carrying a prohibitive substance on your person. If you do not wish to comply with my request, the ‘Federal Police’ will be called to continue this investigation,” he said in that stern cop voice you hear in TV shows in similar situations.
The way they looked at me really scared the shit out of me.
So now I was scared as hell, on top of being totally embarrassed. What could I do? At least if I get it over and done with here, I can still make my flight. So begrudgingly, I pulled my underpants down and took them off. The female security officer guffawed at the sight of me, but then held herself in check.
However, they both stared at my groin so intensely I said in annoyance, “Why don’t you take a picture, it lasts longer.”
You see I’m a chubby guy, so when I’m soft my fat pubic mound swallows my cock, leaving nothing but a small hole with my nuts under it. Quite a sight. I also keep the area shaved bald so it just highlights it even more.
Then he said, “Sir, please give me your underpants.”
I handed them to him (he was wearing those blue rubber gloves) and he removed the safety-pin and unfurled the sock expecting god knows what to be inside it. Drugs I thought. The female guard never stopped looking at my groin the whole time. After he had turned the sock inside out and found nothing sinister hidden within but some lint, he looked at me confused. “Sir, why are you travelling with a sock in your underpants?”
“Um… to make me appear… (I looked down at my exposed nuts and back up at him)… bigger… you know?” I stammered in absolute shame.
“Bigger?” the male officer said, not quite getting it yet.
“Yeah Fred, he means he stuffs a sock in his underpants to make it look like he has a big dick, or maybe in his case to look like he has a dick,” the female officer said, not hiding her amusement anymore.
The male officer became a bit embarrassed himself, and threw the sock and underpants at me. “You can get dressed now, but I’m afraid you cannot keep this pin.” He held it up to me.
I just nodded. I didn’t need to be told twice, so I put my clothes back on, and then stuffed the sock in my pocket. Once I was dressed they thanked me for my cooperation and told me sternly not to do it again (use a pin in my underpants at an Airport) if I wanted to avoid the same embarrassing scenario, and lastly I was dismissed to catch my plane.
I walked out of the room, but I heard them burst into laughter from outside which made my humiliation complete I guess. I learnt my lesson that’s for sure. That was one of the embarrassing moments of my life.